Worst Jokes Ever
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"