Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."