Worst Jokes Ever
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.
The word "ginger" is just the n-word reorganized.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?