Worst Jokes Ever
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?