Worst Jokes Ever
Where did Hitler send kids with ADHD?
Concentration camp.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you would never forget.
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"