Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
Website: Submit a joke :-)
Me: My life.
An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.
The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.
The man asks, "Is it your first time?"
The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Yo mama so poor, she can't even pay attention.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
The more emos there are, the less emos there are.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"