Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
Dear Slim Shady,
balls.
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.
Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
Why is the USA bad at Clash Royale? 'Cause they already lost two towers.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."
Your hairline's so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there.
My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
