Worst Jokes Ever
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
The joke is my life.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
what's the difference between apples and orphans? ... the apples get picked.
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.