Worst Jokes Ever
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
My depressed body would look great hanging from a tree...
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?
Milk-hee-hee Way.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!