Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.