Worst Jokes Ever
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
Buy KFC or else.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a ruler under a pillow to see how long she slept.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
Your hairline goes so far back my history teacher was surprised.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.