What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
Q: I have a fish that can breakdance! A: Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
