Worst Jokes Ever
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
What pizza did the Twin Towers order?
A plain one.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
Osama Bin Laden is his name.
Crashing planes is his game.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?
They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
What is an orphan's family reunion called?
Me time.