Worst Jokes Ever
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
What do you call a group of emos? Suicide Squad.
What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Daughter: Dad.
Dad: Yes honey?
Daughter: I'm lesbian.
Dad: Ok.
Daughter 2: Dad.
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.
Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?
Son: I do...
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
How do emo kids complement each other?
They say, "I like ya cuts g."
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
What's an emo's least favorite show?
Dr. Phil.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.