Worst Jokes Ever
Buy KFC or else.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
Your hairline goes so far back my history teacher was surprised.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.
I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”