Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.