Worst Jokes Ever

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

But why does 10 have PTSD?

Cuz it’s between 9/11.

Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.

What's black and eats Kitty?

Serval cancer.

Why do vegans use blowjobs?

Because they can’t take real meat.

They're making a new Alien movie.

There are so many aliens you can't keep track.

I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."

How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?

They have a dot in the middle of the head.

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."