Worst Jokes Ever

Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.

Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?

Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.

I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

How are orphans and apples different?

One gets picked.

Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.