Worst Jokes Ever
Your life, that's all.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
What falls but never gets hurt? Snow.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)
If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Dear Grad Parents,
Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.
There will be more information to follow in the coming days.
Thank you.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
...
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.