Worst Jokes Ever
My career is worth more than your adoption.
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
Why don't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
I saw a little boy begging for money.
I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents!"
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?
The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)
The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)
Thanks for reading this...bye!
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.