Worst Jokes Ever

I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Dam.

Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?

"Suicide Squad!"

What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!

Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?

Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.

It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.

Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"

Do you know 6+3?

Other person: Nine.

Nein is no in German.

Why are Americans bad at chess?

Because they lost two towers.

Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?

Because they're afraid of ice!

I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Making holy water."

She said, "How are you making holy water?"

I'm boiling the hell out of it.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.

Why did the big rose say to the little rose?

"Hi, bud."

Uhhhh...

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill’s real name was Randy.