Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
Pickled carrots.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?
"Hey BrO!"
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Nnnbgfdddddrr.
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
Kid 1: "It's a bird!"
Kid 2: "It's a plane!"
Me: "It's a terrorist!"
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".