Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.
It couldn't answer.
Bob the builder.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
I put the fun in funeral.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!