Worst Jokes Ever
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today…
…He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
What is a orphan's favorite 🎥🍿?
Home Alone.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!