Worst Jokes Ever

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't know who to call daddy.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect, two pals of water, one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get. I’m sick af from these stories.

Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!

1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.

When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:

"Looks like I am going back to the future!"

"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."

Priests are called father because it would be suspicious to call him daddy.

What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?

Diddler on the Roof.

Why can't two Asians make a white kid?

Two wrongs don't make a white.

Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?

What zodiac sign has no hair?

Cancer.

The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.

A: What is Technoblade's favorite zodiac sign?

Q: Cancer.

I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.

The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.

My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.

I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”

what do you call an autistic police officer? special forces

There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.

Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.

The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.

It says, "271032."

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.