Worst Jokes Ever
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What is a orphan's favorite 🎥🍿?
Home Alone.
What is an orphan's family reunion called?
Me time.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?
You can hear a hormone.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"