Worst Jokes Ever

What is a orphan's favorite 🎥🍿?

Home Alone.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...

Communists don't play Minecraft.

They play Ourcraft.

Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?

Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.

Kobe jokes just don’t land well anymore.

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

I got kicked out of the library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.

You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.

Why do strippers never care about things?

Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.

A man walks into a bar.

Then he walks into a Pole.

Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"

Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.

What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?

You can hear a hormone.

I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.

Because Jill's real name was Randy.