Worst Jokes Ever
What is Donald Trump's favorite game?
Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.