Worst Jokes Ever
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.
John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"
Where did George go?
Washington, D.C.
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
I only have a few friends, like if you relate.
Based on a true story.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.
Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
money + money = MONEY
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.