Worst Jokes Ever
I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
What's a gun's favorite type of literature?
Magazine.
What is the similarity between math and buildings?
Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and games until they start dancing.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
Because he hated the Poles!
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
People: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Challenge accepted.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.