Worst Jokes Ever
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
You're so fat, that you're fat.
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wrongs don't make a white.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didnât laugh, but the floor cracked up.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."
Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War