Worst Jokes Ever
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.
The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."
The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"
One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.