Worst Jokes Ever
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass flippers.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Rooster.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.