Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
Q: What’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo?
A: Making sure he doesn’t wake up.
Yo mama so fat, she sunk the Titanic.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.