Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a genderless child?

It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.

What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?

Hang 'em high.

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.

How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?

Special forces.

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

What do you call a scared cow?

A COW-ard.

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

What company do orphans hate the most?

S. C. Johnson, a family company.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Deez.

Deez who?

Deez nuts!

South's losing to Broncos. 😹

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the roof of a Walmart, it lowered the prices.

What was the score to the African basketball game? It was 8-0.

Do you know what SAWCON is?

SAWCON deez nuts.

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

You can roast chicken.

AB💿