Worst Jokes Ever
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.
The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."
The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"
One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
Lol, I have no life :)
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
On the fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they cannot find home.