Worst Jokes Ever
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
I would tell a Koby joke...
But it would just crash and burn.
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?
They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He can't run home.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
Hello everyone, to the first Hollow Knight meeting!
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
I am a fat girl.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!