Tonight Jokes

There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight coz the parants ain't home

Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

sex sex sex free sex tonight i mean 666-3629

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Friend: You ok man?

Me: Yea.. I'll just leave myself "hangin" tonight...

Shorkey will find you in bed tonight and he will eat you like my joke or else............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Orange 🍊.

Orange who?

Orange you going to the movies tonight?

One day I was on my phone then I got a text message from my Girl Friend, "Hey Sexy boy wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean..." then I just stopped and froze I read the message I said, "Yeah sure..." she replied really fast, "Theres going to be a few people there ok." but i didn't read the next message... she said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." but i didn't read it I walked into her house but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise and it sounded like HER!! so I hide behind the couch and I looked through the open door and saw somthing I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

I hope both the sides of your pillow are warm tonight

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think "I hope you get laid tonight." By a tweaker with AIDS.

Kids uncle " your mum said you can have your friends round tonight ! But imma have to baby sit today" . Kid "OK THANK YOU". (AT BED TIME ) Kid " Please may u stop touching my leg BEN!" Ben "im not " (turns light on ) Kid " UCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME !!!"

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see's a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman.

if you dont like the video in 10 second james charles will sleep with you tonight

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

What did one candle say to the other? Want to go out tonight?

Son: What's for dinner tonight? Mon: Steak! Son: Mom you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me? Mim: HUNGER!

Hi how are you busy busy today and tomorrow I have to go home from home and walk home walk and a bike walk walk and a bike to school tomorrow night I have to have lunch with my mom and dad and I have dinner with you tonight