Tonight Jokes

the wowman had a dick, lol its your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! jhon man! in new york city i am on 2 you! i will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodygard

Your Friend: Bro I'm having a movie sleep over tonight. I've invited 17 people wanna come? You: Yeah but why so many people? Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers. You: Dude!!!!

Mike..id is coming tonight

When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says you have homework tonight he said sorry teach I don't got a home

Its this girl named deaf waht a weird name but i know that cause i was ear hustling. But anyway evertime i call her she doesn't answer i wanna clap some cheeks tonight how could she hate me when she dont no me

imma monch ur nans feet at 3 am tonight ngl

Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks "what is that man doing?". The mom says "Making pizza" trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says "Making extra cheese". When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says "Ordering the pizza".

Later that day the mother says to the father "I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good".

So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs "wanna order some pizza !?"

The mother replied "DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME"

the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening. "Sure honey! If you suck my dick! So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!" "Oh yeah, I forgot" says the father "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

Orphan: wanna have a sleepover Friend: but your an orphan. Orphan: just wanted a place to sleep tonight

My first christmas picture second one ima draw tommorw at school or tonight depends

what did the fat girl say to the donut I'm going to eat you tonight...

A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin the bartender said to her I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink and she said not usually but I am doing the bishop a favour the bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening and she said no I am with the bishop tonight.

a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

I tonight it was funny 😆

Tonight I'll be eating freshly- grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poke balls.Do you get what I am trying to poke out?

so a guy and his brother was walking in the woods so his brother said "its getting dark out here can we go home" the man said "i know think how i will feel walking home tonight"