what do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed HEHEHEHE
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"? He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: That’s sad.
Teacher: Anyways, who is away today?
Student: Your parents.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
There was a little kid crying in the park today, i askd him where his parents were. Now i realize, man i love my job
Today we had a test on september 11th in school. I got a 9/11
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.
Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: "What's wrong?" I said "How could you tell something was wrong?" they replied "you were looking forlorn"
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
i got kicked out of a library today
because i put a book about women's rights in the fantasy section
Yes the Queen has died today, can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross dressing as her.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay My sister has this crush and his name is Braylon so he text my sister saying he wants to hang out with her which I think means date so anyway I did this My text said "Hi braylon, I can't hang out today...or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" this is super wrong but funny! Braylon text back and said "Fine I can help" and I text back and said "Oh will come here around 10:00" And my sister did not know he was comeing....she was so embarrsed she was still in her night gown! HAHAHAH. O to the k bye thats the prankster!!!!
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
I joined a emo class today the first lession I learnt was slice and dice and let it flow.
Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?
Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
