Pristiano Penaldo's Woes

Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.

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Explanation

Experiment

The joke plays on the common criticisms leveled against Cristiano Ronaldo (referred to as "Pristiano Penaldo") which are that he dives, scores mostly penalties, scores easy tap-in goals, disappears in big games ("ghosting"), is past his prime ("finished"), and is sometimes benched. The author is pretending to be Ronaldo and saying he knows what it's like to be discriminated against because he gets bullied online for those reasons. It's self-deprecating humor.

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