Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Time Jokes
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Random words in my keyboard:
The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
