(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
Time Jokes
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.
When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?
'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.
Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!
