Time jokes
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
Memes
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
What is a good night for you?
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
Eons it takes to Daveon the haters.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
I added Paul Walker on Xbox...
But he spends all his time on the dashboard.
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
Who is the oldest Dave?
Daveon.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
Why don't Indians play baseball?
Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."