Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
Time Jokes
Your hairline goes so far back even history can’t record it.
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
