Time jokes
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
Memes
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.