Time jokes
Where are you right now?
Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
The Past, Present & Future walked into a bar.
It was tense!
"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Why was 6 afraid of 9?
Because 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!
The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣
The last time I ever made a joke was just now.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.
Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!