Time jokes

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.

What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?

The Munch Bunch.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

Your future.

80s (DYM 84)

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

Why can't orphans go on vacation?

The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!

Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!

Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?

It's about time!

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.

The orphan: What is home?

Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.

*puts in trash can*

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Where are you right now?

Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.

Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!

What do you say to a clock?

"What time is it?"