Time jokes
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
Why was 6 afraid of 9?
Because 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
God is you... If you have a dog
When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
The last time I ever made a joke was just now.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Everyone thought I'd have a great year...
14 years just gave me more chances.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"