Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.
Time Jokes
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
I met Lebron James, and he was so bald at the time that I could count his hairs.
And that's 1 hair and maybe 2.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
But when?
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
Your hairline goes so far back, we learned about it in history class.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
