Time jokes
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Man from 2001 just called. They want a tower back.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
What's the only time a Pentagon has four sides? When a plane intercepts into it.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
What goes up but never comes down?
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
WJE officially a gone memory.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?