Threat jokes
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Subscribe to Cboystv, or I will eat you like Asians do to pets.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.