I SAID GO TO BED BEFORE I SLAP THOSE SPOTS OFF OF YOU!
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
