Threat

Threat jokes

Abortion

    • A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

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    • Orphan

    • A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

    It danced its a** off.

    Penaldo

    • I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡

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    • Video Game

    • My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

    But don't worry I think she was just joking.

    Insult

    • Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."

    Vortex: "You'll do what?"

    Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"

    *Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*

    Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."

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    • Song

    • Guess what song this is from:

    "I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,

    Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,

    Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.

    I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."

    Roblox

    • Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

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    • Keyboard

    • My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

    Phone

    • Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

    Vegan

    • Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.

    Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.

    Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.

    Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.

    Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!

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    • Jesus

    • Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.

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