Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?
It danced its a** off.
I suck on cups so START RUNNIN' CUPHEAD!
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! π‘π‘
"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."
This isn't a joke but...
GET IN THE VAN, JANICE!
Guess what song this is from:
"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,
Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,
Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.
I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver π
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
If you say to someone, "Have a nice day!" it will make them happy. If you say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours," they'll be terrified.
