Threat jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
I am the danger.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!