Thought jokes

What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."

Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.