Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute.
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office. The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late I asked her why did you send James out to the hall? She said he was a little tardy I replied to her I thought they all were
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late I asked her why did you send James out to the hall? She said she was a little tardy I asked her are I thought they all were
If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
Son: Dad I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure ur my parents? Dad: oh...., well I never thought it would come to this, or to ur head that you were kidnapped..... Son: am I kidnapped? Dad; well ur adopted, and if you want to see ur biological parents they’ll be waiting for you in heaven
a UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a faliure because
South Americans don’t know the word “please”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion”
Balkans don’t know the word “give”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts”
Africans don’t know the word “food”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage”
and Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
The fool says in his brain "there is a god".
My sister is so stupid she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard the gunshots, he would’ve probably thought it was the ice cream truck
Your mom is so dumb, that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mom is so stupid, that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda? She thought it was Diet Coke
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language. Weird. Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
A Son walks up to his Dad and says "I'm so gay right now! "HOW COULD YOU, I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" Screams the Dad. "No, Gay as in HAPPY" Says the confused Son,"I'm so happy right now!" "Oh" says the Dad, "Why are you happy?" Then the Son said "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off"
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
