i love u like my cuts deeply
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It's driving me nuts.
how do you know you've found a priest? when little Timmy is glued to his crotch
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child*
will my suicidal thoughts, leave me too if i get attached to em?
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.
Why don’t pakis play football? Because they only hold onto balls attached to prepubescent boys cocks
Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that's my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds "those are my headlights." He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down "daddy whats that?" The dad replies "that's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says "you can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see's them going at it he then yells "mommy turn on you're headlights daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says "what the hell is that?". The pirate said "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!".
My wife is the only person that has missing posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat. I took her to the Macy's day parade. They attached ropes to her.
Yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah I gave her everything She took my heart and left me lonely I've been broken, heart's contentious I won't fix, I'd rather weep I'm lost and I'm found, but It's torture being in love I love when you're around But I fucking hate when you leave Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah) Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad and low, yeah I'm sad and low, yeah
What do you call a cat with a live in doctorz?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
swear ur eyebrows have attachment issues, they're touching rn
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale? It comes with no strings attached.
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect
What do you call that big, useless piece of skin attached to the outside of a vagina? A woman.
