Thought jokes

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

I always wonder what girls are thinking about. Maybe balls.

"I want to kill my family."

-realizes-

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!

I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.

Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!