Thought jokes

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!

Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!

I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

He thought he saw his mother.

People generalize others too much.

Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.