Thought jokes
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
I always wonder what girls are thinking about. Maybe balls.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
I thought I saw Jojo Siwa... no wait, it's your hairline.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
I did have a good [time].