Thought jokes

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!

This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."

Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.

Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."

I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.

"Give me a cigarette," the condemned man said.

"I thought you quit," replied the guard.

"I did, but I don't think it matters anymore."

Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.

Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.

I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.

That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!

Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!