Thought jokes

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

The humor of this generation of kids shouldn't be called 'brain rot'; it should be called 'brain rape.' I believe most people of this generation that aren't 5-year-olds could agree with me, but my mind and thoughts have been violated by the things that kids these days find funny and entertaining. #SKIBIDDI

What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.

I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?

The steering wheel.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

Two mates walk into a bar.

Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"

Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."

Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"

Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."

Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"

Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."

I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"

He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."

You've realized I exist? Huh, cool.

What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"

I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡. What was the best game I’ve [played]?

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"