Thought

Thought jokes

Sniper

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

Superbowl

The Eagles when they actually thought they were gonna win the Super Bowl. 😹

Girl

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

Mama

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

Prince

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Relationship

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

Midget

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

Skull

I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.

Hospital

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

Mama

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

Momma

Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.

Prince

Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((