Thought jokes

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."

Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!

A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.

Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought TikTok was an alarm setup.

The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.

Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."

People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.

Why do men get great ideas in bed?

'Cause they are plugged into a genius!

People generalize others too much.

The Eagles when they actually thought they were gonna win the Super Bowl. 😹

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.