This jokes
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Memes
LoOk ThIs Is MeGaN
I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
What is the difference between Twitter and this website?
There's no difference.
"Hi, this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce."
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
Could a staff member of this site please block Kimberly Jones?
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.