This jokes

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

Could a staff member of this site please block Kimberly Jones?

Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.

What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?

Panera fed.

Credit to RogueRobot for this one:

What does Panera sleep in?

Panera bed.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

Why did the GG Miller say to the loser?

"This is a nice reflection!"

I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.

I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"

My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.

Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Wife: “I want another baby.”

Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

This car in RC-XD.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”

The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”

The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”