This jokes

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words:

"What the fuck is in this drink?"

I can't believe this!

Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

Could a staff member of this site please block Kimberly Jones?

Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.

What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?

Panera fed.

Credit to RogueRobot for this one:

What does Panera sleep in?

Panera bed.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

Why did the GG Miller say to the loser?

"This is a nice reflection!"

I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.

I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"

My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.