This jokes

Cornell

  • Cornell has announced that they will be banning frat parties in the wake of the "Cornell 7" case. With this new policy, students will be forced to conduct all ketamine-fueled orgies in their dorms, which may limit these activities to just 6 men each.

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  • Hotel

  • Someone who spends three days in Jara Hotel is as calm as an empty apartment. But I think it hurts. The room is not good. The bathroom is very safe. It might be fun for hours, but it's still good. The bathroom is a child's room, so it is impossible to convert it into a child's room.

    The booth I bought was great and perfect for the Weimar location. I really like this breakfast, it doesn't seem too rich or complicated. To be clear, but the first day is different kind of bread I give at a small but beautiful point.

    I was also overprotected, this is true, as I had seen other visitors on the day of arrival. Service wars are always big. Greetings from RL-Pfalz. Small hotels are difficult.

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  • Alphabet

  • What are the first four letters of the alphabet?

    Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."

    Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"

    Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."

    Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."

    Next day...

    Student: I know the alphabet.

    Teacher: OK, go on.

    Student: "You need a haircut."

    Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?

    Student: "Yes! Get in!"

    Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?

    Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."

    *In headteacher's office*

    Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?

    Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."

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  • Ideology

  • Is it far enough? We publish interviews with people who know a lot about real wars.

    Peace: On one case, that's true, but violence is the slogan for it.

    Socialism: Yes, morning and evening. So the Sorce Streftator's work must be stopped!

    Maoist: Yes, I like Walken Engspert.

    Anarchist: Claire, this is why we don't need democracy, I'm Das Zoe Melsen.

    Capitalism: Yes, but the truth is that he is ignorant and cannot be considered as an old leader, but as an employee.

    Governor: Yes, but a strong left should be as strong as Minister Janomen Vardan or Director Januso Gavrelic.

    Patriots: Are there simple megalithic laws?

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  • Song

  • 1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.

    3, 4, better lock your door.

    5, 6, grab a crucifix.

    7, 8, stay up late.

    9, 10, never sleep again.

    I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)

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  • Television

  • So I was sitting on my couch, watching this homophobic TV show all about "straight and great". But then I remember, "Aren't I part of the LGBTQ?"

    So I say, "Oh my God, let's throw it out the window because that would be a good idea!" But then it gets run over by 123,456,789 cars. It gave me a $150,000 fine. Guess I'm broke.

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  • Name

  • Teacher: "What's your name?"

    Student: "Hang on a second."

    10 seconds later:

    Teacher: "Is something wrong?"

    Student: "Hang on a second!"

    20 seconds later:

    Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"

    Student: "Hang on a second!!!"

    Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"

    Student: "Hang on a second!"

    Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"

    Student: "Just listen to me!"

    Teacher: "Go on, speak!"

    Student: "Hang on a second!"

    Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"

    Student: "Hang on a second!!!"

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  • Question

  • The professor said, "I think this question raises a few problems."

    The student replied, "That is not a question; that is an answer."

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  • Child

  • One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"

    The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"

    The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"

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  • Pencil

  • You remind me of a pencil.

    Why?

    Because at one time, you actually made a valid point. This time, everything is pointless with you around.

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  • Child

  • Wife: "Did you notice that the child is actually not yours?"

    Husband: "I've been suspecting this for a long time. Finally you admit it."

    Wife: "What are you talking about? I asked you to pick up our child from the kindergarten. But the child you picked up is not ours!"

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