This jokes

Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.

Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

This is a short joke! This short joke is long. Nice joke, Mr. Steve.

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.

Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.