This jokes

What the fluff happened to this website?

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

Why does this exist?

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.

God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.

Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.

So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

It worked really well in my local hospital.

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.

Couldn’t Be Me.

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”