Think

Think jokes

Genie

  • There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.

    He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.

    The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.

  • 1
  • Quarterback

  • "You did great!"

    "Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"

    "Nah, that's okay."

    "Here's the quarterback."

    "You don't want the quarter?"

    "No! Quarterback!"

    "Huh?"

    (Crashes) (screams)

    "Yo, sorry 'bout that."

    "You think he's gonna be mad?"

    "Who? Baldi?"

    "Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"

    (Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)

  • 2
  • Account

  • Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and fuck off).

    Blach6 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach6 Left Site and forgot password

    Blach66 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach66 Cleared history and forgot password

    Blach66.1 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach661 Banned for Racial Slurs, I think all my N- know what that means.

    leoxchingchongbingblachheroine https://worstjokesever.com/@leoxchingchongbingblachheroine Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    flappytitesblachheroin https://worstjokesever.com/@flappytitesblachheroin Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    arsonisfuntransgenderblach https://worstjokesever.com/@arsonisfuntransgenderblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    ahitlerblach https://worstjokesever.com/@ahitlerblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    blachxl (by Wade w my permission) https://worstjokesever.com/@blachxl Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

  • 1
  • Phobia

  • Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.

    Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*

    No phobia lasts forever 👌😂

  • 1
  • Timmy

  • There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

    They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

    Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

  • 4
  • Dad

  • Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.

    This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.

  • 1
  • Eye

  • Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

    Mom: OMG, why son?

    Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

    Think about it, then spread LMAO.

    Hate

  • What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?

  • 0
  • Depression

  • A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."

    A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."

    <2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*

    Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."

  • 0
  • Nun

  • A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

  • 2
  • Roast

  • Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

    Candy

  • One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

  • 5
  • Wood

  • A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

    The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

    Incest

  • People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

    I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

  • 1
  • Emergency

  • "911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

    “I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

  • 1