When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Think like a proton--stay positive!
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
I can't think of any jokes.
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.
