I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
oh wait i'm thinking of....
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat. If you don’t get it a Chinese women ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think)
Girl: I’m so in love with you! Boy: me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: - aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot. Girl: whats the ijk? Boy: I’m just kidding
Me and my girlfreind were walking in the woods, HER: I am Scared ME: What do you think I feel I have to walk back alone
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
hey you person who's scrolling, pls leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh its okay." etc it can be short if you dont want to then that's okay.
i remember last year all these biches called me lame so i stoped the simping and pretended i was gay, now i think theyre all fucking with me. im an L G B T Q imposter got cut last year know ive made the roster and you may think im a monester. im just just tryna see some titties.
I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I took my sister and And cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy who my dad‘s friend has connections with I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized, We got what we wanted.
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
When your parents say we are sorry that you are here what do you think of that. I THINK THAT YOUR AN ACCIDENT!
Just think when we getting fucked we make our own food
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
why do you think after death the angle says do not be afraid search up biblically accurate angles
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?" Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
My friend and I were at the mall, and decided to try on some necklaces. He said l think you should get the one over there, I do, I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it, I asked him did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."
