I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
I am thinking of removing my spine.
It's only holding me back.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
Your mum is so fat, flat earthers think she's round!
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
lmao why do people think they can fly?
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat. If you don’t get it a Chinese women ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think)
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
